I like shopping. Sometimes. Sometimes being in the mall just flat out annoys the shit out of me. Nevertheless, I like trying on new clothes and testing out different styles. I like to see what’s new and popular. I love the feel of silk dresses, cashmere cardigans and leather purses, so I have to go to stores to enjoy these luxuries because I own so few myself. Really, shopping without making a purchase is kind of like going to the library: you get to temporarily borrow and enjoy something before returning it so the next person gets a go.

However, I am such a sucker for a friendly salesperson. Seriously, they can sell me anything. When I go into a store to buy jeans, and the sales clerk hands me 3 shirts to try on with them, it’s more likely than not I’ll leave with the whole lot. As a person, I would never consider myself a pushover (kind of the opposite, really) but I can get swept away in pretty fabrics with little more than a tap in that direction.

My only saving grace is that I am absolutely shameless about returning things. After I get home and the shine has worn off, I think nothing about shoving everything back in the store bag and handing it all over again, which is exactly what I did yesterday with over $180 worth of stuff. I don’t worry about the commute back to the mall or dragging down the clerk’s commission, I just want my refund. I know this is something I need to work on, because it’s a shameful display of willpower and a colossal waste of time & effort, but in the meantime, at least it keeps me from over-spending.

Generally when I shop for anything, from groceries to make-up to clothes, I do so with a list. With the exception of idiotic impulse buys I’m tricked into by friendly retail staff, anything I want I put on a list in my budget spreadsheet, and I keep it there for a month before I let myself go buy it. This accomplishes a lot for me as far as spending goes: 1) I  get time to evaluate each purchase and prioritize what’s most important, 2) I budget for what I want 3) delayed gratification is so much sweeter and comes with no regret.

Shopping with a list also puts wants in perspective. I put the price next to every item I want, and the total right now hovers around $2000. Only in that context can I realize the actual cost of my wish-list, and exactly how many hours of work I need to buy it. Without this itemization, a dress here or a sweater there plus some make-up here and an iPhone 4 there just doesn’t add up the same way. And the truth is, I’m not the only one easily manipulated by sales staff: we all fall for the impulse buys more often than not, it’s why sales staff are trained to feed you add-ons in the changeroom. Unfortunately, this leads to massive amounts of debt and over-spending, which will feel barely noticeable at the time it is actually happening.

It’s important to exercise self-restraint when shopping, and the easiest way to do it is before you even get in the store. Rewind even further and try to stay out of fashion magazines and off of store websites at home. If you are looking for new things, make a list of what you want, rank items by importance, and set a budget if you don’t already know the prices. Then make the effort to shop around. I promise nothing will save you more money than visiting as many stores as you can to seek out the best price for what you want. Waiting another few weeks or even a month before going back for it is even better, because this will let you catch any upcoming sale. I know this last point is difficult to subscribe to: we’re not really trained to put off acquiring stuff, and concern about the store selling out of your size is a legitimate worry — it happens to me all the time! But at the end of the day, you have to remember: it’s just a shirt. It’s just a dress. It’s just a pair of shoes. There will always be a new shirt/dress/shoes you adore. Shirt/dress/shoe ownership is not a missed opportunity in your life, and not getting the item you wanted will never actually matter to anyone, so you should try to not let it matter too much to you.