The following is a guest post from TeacHer Finance! She teaches high school in D.C. and like the rest of us, is seeking a balance between saving for the future and savouring the present. She writes a candid finance blog about being broke in a good way and even gives insight to what Sigmund Freud probably thought about personal finance. Enjoy!
There is strong evidence to suggest that I’m a bitch.
Consider the following:
- When I’m driving and people cut me off, I give those people the finger. A lot. (Come on guys, you’re on the road in D.C. – you know what you signed up for!)
- My response to stupid questions is a long stare. I make no effort to be nice to people who ask questions like, “Wait, what state is Washington, D.C. in?”
- I will point it out when someone is being rude. Like the person in front of me in line who said to the cashier, “could I talk to someone who speaks English?!” got a, “Hey, that was rude!” from the person behind him. The person behind him was me.
So yeah, I might be a bitch.
But ladies, this bitch has something important to remind you! Speaking up about your money does not make you a bitch. So many of us worry that others will think we’re being “aggressive,” “pushy,” or, yes, “bitchy” if we speak up about getting ripped off. So we keep quiet, play nice…and stay one financial step behind our male co-workers and friends who weren’t afraid of speaking up.
Which is not to say that it’s good idea to go stomping into your boss’s office, take her hostage, and demand a raise. In other words, we can strike a balance between being doormats and shooting off like a canon at the smallest slight. I have a hunch that what most women want is a way to be assertive without seeming hostile or unreasonable. So I’ve compiled a list of un-bitchy – yet still effective – conversation starters and come-backs to help you get what you deserve without putting people off:
“Your salary offer is lower than the figure I was expecting; I’m hoping we can compromise.”
“I’m writing in response to your ad on Craig’s list. I LOVE the red leather chair. Will you accept $75 for it?”
“I’m calling about the used car you’re advertising on your site. To be honest, $20,000 is high for that model. Are there special features you didn’t mention or are you wiling to negotiate?”
“No, thanks. I don’t buy extended warranties. Yes, I’m sure.”
“Actually, no, $150 isn’t much better than $175. What other promotions are you running right now?”
Try one out today!
I would definitely say I’m bitchy also. I tend to say what I think, and I tend to go crazy on stupid people. Talking about money and want you want, does NOT make you bitchy. It makes you determined.
I LOVED this post, and couldn’t agree more. What I especially hate is when people borrow money from me, and then try to take advantage in the fact that asking for money back is uncomfortable, and try to stiff me. I used to be pretty apprehensive about it. I remember hunting down a girl in high school for a good 5 months until she FINALLY paid me back. Now I just ask for it back. I still feel uncomfortable, but in my experience, when I loan people money, the borrower will never be the first one to remember. If asking for my loan back makes me a b**ch, then I guess I am one!
Very well put. I’m also guilty of being a quote unquote bitch at times, especially when it comes to money.
Unfortunately, one thing that does hold some women back from getting what they want is the perception of them. Men tend to be viewed as confident and assertive when trying to get what they want. Women saying the exact same thing are viewed as difficult and bitchy. Unfair, but true. Your post title is spot on.
I had to use the extended warranty one a few months ago with my car. I think the salesman assumed that I didn’t know much about cars and warranties because I’m a woman & I’m young. He lectured me for half an hour about how I would regret it (my car still has 2 years of powertrain on it, and the extended warranty had so many conditions it wasn’t even funny. Plus, the warranty was 25% of my car price). I finally had to be SO firm it sounded bitchy but it had to be done.
It’s like you were in my work event with me today – it was about women negotiating. The same things were brought up – women keep quiet and play nice.
@Daisy – I get that all the time from the place I get my oil changed. They tried to get me to buy a transmission flush. Cars built after the ’70s don’t need that! I end up sounding bitchy too b/c I’m so pissed off that he’s trying to pander to me.
I don’t want anyone to ever think I’m a bitch, but I think a lot of times I’m also afraid of looking poor. Yes, I have debt, but I don’t want people at the store/car lot/restaurant to know that! I’m often afraid of speaking up because I think rich people wouldn’t dare argue over a few bucks here or 10% there, KWIM? It’s weird because I have a blog with my picture right there….but I don’t want the cashier at Target to think I’m broke–oh no!
Men could take a lot from this post too. Those are some good convo starters and come backs.
I am definitely pretty bitchy too. And I’m not terribly apologetic about it. Generally though, the things I am bitchy about I know that I am right about. I find it difficult to stand my ground about something I am unsure on which is where I find myself re: my current pay situation. I just blogged about being completely unsure about whether or not I am being fairly compensated (http://preservingpennies.com/what-am-i-worth-am-i-being-properly-compensated/). If I had any evidence that I were being underpaid I would have no problem walking in there and telling them they need to pay me more- no problem at all. But, if I am making a fair wage in comparison to my coworkers I don’t want to be the idiot that walks in there and demands a $5 raise. sucks.
Can I get an amen?
Amen.
(sung to the tune of “I’m sexy and i know it”) I’m bitchy and I know it, know it! When it comes to my hard earned money, you are damn right I’m a bitch!