No Wedding Fever Here

9 Comments

Wedding fever: If there’s any rite of passage to twenty-something adulthood, it’s going to weddings. Wedding after wedding after wedding — and all the other parties that go with it: engagement parties, bridal showers, rehearsal dinners, etc. As an avid partier myself, I’m a huge fan of all of the above. I love being a guest at weddings, I’m not sure how I’d fare as a participant though. I read One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding last year and became hugely disenchanted with the entire parade.

Why The Wedding Fever?

The ultimate wedding fever buster: One Perfect Day

The ultimate wedding fever buster: One Perfect Day

The book is a great read on all the ugliness behind the glam. From the “wedding tax”, which means pricing something higher because it’s a wedding and not just a party, to “hand-sewn” gowns being the work of underpaid labor in China. If you’re a bride, this is a sobering book.

I can’t stomach the cost of a traditional wedding, it freaks me out, and I suffer an inconsolable urge to punch nearly every woman that appears on shows like “Say Yes To The Dress”. I’d rather marry on a secluded beach, mountain top, or on a whim during a random Saturday afternoon at the local courthouse without much of a plan and a handful of strangers as witnesses. I’d still have the party though — so long as all my friends and family are cool with it being a potluck.

Ok, and maybe I’d splurge on the dress because I love dresses.

Alas, my own wedding is an abstract non-thing that will not materialize anytime in the near future (and I like it that way, just so we’re clear). In the meantime, I get to be guest, bridesmaid, and innocent bystander to the celebrations of my friends and family. This weekend is my cousin’s wedding and I’m showing up in a dress from Paris, new shoes, a gift from their registry at The Bay (is it a rule that all engaged people must register at the Bay?), and a handful of $2 coins for the twoonie bar at the reception.

Like I said, I have this wedding guest thing down pat.


9 Comments

  1. YES I have been saying this for years! It was amazing the amount of resistance I got from people when I talked about having a non-traditional marriage. All that money, not to mention the months of evolving into Bridezilla (I totally would be Bridezilla because I’m type A), only to go hungry on the night of the party from running around talking to distant relatives and friends of your parents, while your friends party it up in your honour without you. No thanks! Fun to attend, though, even if it scares me that I’m at the wedding-going phase of my life.

  2. I went the DIY route for my wedding which worked for the budget however, I was stressed for 5 months before the wedding. Also no one should anticipate their husband helping because; they are fine with not having favours if it means they can go fishing instead of tie bows for 3 days. Weddings are money pits and I have never talked to a single couple who after the day wished they had spent more. I definitely want to read this book.

  3. Kim

    I love your ideas for your own wedding! I once heard the saying, from a girl talking about women’s preferences for wedding rings, “diamonds may be nice but if you really love him, you’ll marry him with a ring made out of twist-tie”. I think it also applies to the extravagance of a wedding – if you really just want to celebrate your love and commitment to each other, then a modest celebration will do and all that extra fluff just cheapens it. I can’t really stand those big bridzilla-dominated wedding shows either. It almost appears that these women are getting married just so they can have a show-off wedding.

    In an interview, Vera Wang said that wedding dress designing has changed drastically during her career, when she started, the woman would wear any white dress and the wedding was more a big party. Now, it’s all about the woman and the pressure is on to outshine. The question is, to whom? I consider myself at least semi-fashionable, and I’ve never been to one wedding where the bride’s dress stood out to me. Just saying :p

  4. Kim

    *sorry, what I meant was that I’ve never been to a wedding where the one thing that stood out to me, or that I noticed, was the bride’s dress. It’s usually about the festivities, the food, and how happy everyone seemed. I never notice the wedding dresses, they all look pretty much the same to me.

  5. I’m with you on this one. Small and intimate as opposed to the large, opulent weddings I’ll be attending two weekends in a row!

  6. Yeah, I’d never want my (hypothetical) wedding to be a large-scale thing. It makes more sense to me to use the money towards your life together, rather than one party. *Not that I don’t enjoy attending other peoples’ parties. Open bars and accomodations paid for? Yes, please!

  7. I share your vision of a small, intimate wedding and of the reception afterwards, if that’s something my future SO and I decide to do.
    And you’re bang on on the registry at The Bay, I think it’s a Canadian tradition.

  8. Me too. Small & Intimate ftw.

    Actually… I might not even do small and intimate. Just city hall. XD
    I’m so ungirly about these things. ~___~;;

  9. Justin

    I’m with you on the impromptu wedding. That’s what my wife and I did- we grabbed our minister and parents, took a walk, found a pretty spot and got married. We still had a party later, but the wedding itself was small and perfect.
    As far as wedding gifts go, what’s your go-to gift when the registry is picked over? Personally, we always buy Thomas Lee sheets: http://www.thomasleeltd.com/
    They’re really comfortable, and a pretty safe gift. Who can’t use another set of nice sheets?